Discipline is a struggle for every parent. Not only are there many styles of disciplining, but one method doesn’t always work for two children. One of the newest up and coming terms thrown around is ‘time in.’ This is touted as the best form of discipline over time outs and also known as positive parenting. Learn more about both time outs and time ins to see if one of these methods may work for your family.
The Time Out
Time outs have been used for decades, making it one of the most well-known discipline options. Those who use time-ins will call this a form of punishment. In the simplest form, a time out means
Some parents change the components of the time out to meet their family needs. There may, for example, not be a specific location. Other parents may allow their children to speak if it is addressing the situation at hand. If you are using a time out, you want to ensure to
Many parents time it based on the child’s age. This means, for example, if your child is five he gets a five minute time out. A seven-year-old gets seven minutes, etc. Younger children may want a visual timer that allows them to see the progress made. Hour glasses or kitchen timers work well for this purpose.
If you are using time outs, there are signs that it is not working. If you notice any of these, you will want to try another form of discipline with your child. The main symptoms to look for include
When these issues are not occurring, then the time out is likely working for your family. If you are looking for other methods though, you may consider time-ins.
A time-in is actually rather similar to a time out. The main difference is that you at no point are ignoring your child. This is why it is called a positive parenting technique – you continue to hear and meet your child’s needs. When faced with a time-in, a parent
When faced with a time-in, there are different tactics that can be used dependent on your child’s temperament. Along with a discussion with the parent, many children just need a quiet place to calm down and get away from overstimulation. This may look like
If time-ins are not working, you will notice many of the same symptoms of the time-outs. Your child will
The time-ins are considered positive parenting, however, because you are meeting your child’s needs through conversation rather than ignoring him. It therefore is allowing your child to be heard and gets rid of the power struggle rather than fueling it.
Other benefits of the time-in include
Time Out and Time In
There is an alternative to choosing either a time out or time in. You can create a combination of the two. This allows you to get the benefit of both discipline forms. As an example, your family may:
The above situation combines some solitary moments of a time out with the conversation of a time in. This may work for families who need time to cool down and process emotions alone before a calm discussion can occur.
There are, of course, many discipline techniques outside of a time out or time in. These are two of the more popular methods because there is no hitting, spanking, or physical force involved. If you use a technique different from someone else, remember to be respectful of their situation. You may not believe in time-outs, but it may be what works for another child. Most families probably use a combination of a time out and time in without evening knowing it is occurring. What do you think? Do you prefer a time in or a time out? Or perhaps, you use a completely different method to discipline. No matter what, finding the right discipline method is always tricky.
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